So recently I got to thinking about the term 'dating' and more specifically, when does the term dating no longer apply to a couple? This came to mind due to several conversations that I've had with friends over the past few months, one specifically where I referred to a time when my boyfriend and I "were dating" in the past tense, when in fact we are still very mucht together. My involuntary phrase got me to thinking, if I don't consider that me and my boyfriend of four years are no longer dating, then what exactly should the term be for our relationship? I view dating as a the 'trying out period' when two people are together and it can last for quite awhile since it can take varying amounts of time before people feel as if they fully know the other individual and vice versa. I'm beyond this point with my S.O. (yes he is still anal about me giving his actual name on this blog - with it's huge readership and all : ) - we know each other and what we're all about, so for me, dating doesn't really feel like the right term.
Coincidentally, I also happen to be looking for a new apartment or possibly a condo right now and after perusing many a listing description and trying to figure out if I want to continue to rent and have some options or if I am ready to have a place that's fully my own, that reflects who I am and that I'm fully responsible for - I have also come upon the perfect term for when you're no longer in the dating zone but you're still not in the 'till death to us part zone', Renting To Own.
Think about it, Renting To Own, it implies that you're committed to place/person with the intent to commit even further but it's just a gradual, sensible approach so that you have time to fully realize what you're getting into.
So if anyone asks, for the moment, I'm renting to own.
3 comments:
This speaks mountains Kim. It has a potential dual purpose too! When your S.O. is not content with just 'dating' and is continually hungry for something more...this gives us a second, trial period, in which we can progress the committment, but still not buy the whole enchilada.
Next steps: Find a sexier code name, as I am not sure 'Renting to Own' is flattering enough. And...determine some level of timescale to attribute to the rental period. At what point have you rented for too long? When do you have to buy or consider to continue shopping?
I like you're thinking Kim, particularly this point
"trying to figure out if I want to continue to rent and have some options or if I am ready to have a place that's fully my own, that reflects who I am and that I'm fully responsible for - "I would also add "a place I am willing to compromise and make sacrifices for, even if that means surrendering some of my own independence/freedoms that come with renting"
Amen, I refer to my SO's family as in laws because my boyfriend's sister's husband is just WAY too long. :)
Boyfriend/Girlfriend to me seems to trivialize the relationship, but saying significant other doesn't sound right (or makes people think a multitude of things that are never right...)
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