While I have a number of pet peeves there is one that remains a constant and that is my position on man jewelry. Man jewelry of course being defined as jewelry that is worn by a man, shockingly self-explanatory, but rather than risk any confusion I wanted to spell it out. Now it is a firm belief of mine that the ONLY exception to this firmly held policy is a watch and a wedding ring. Those are two items a man can wear and not cause my stomach to turn. To be fair, I can't quite explain exactly what it is that I find so unacceptable about man jewelry aside from the fact that it generally looks ridiculous (gold chain with some chest hair, anyone?) but it just seems as though the people that you spot wearing it are those that most definitely should not be drawing attention to those areas of their persons.
For example the only time I see those awful diamond crusted pinky rings are on the biggest sausage fingers you have ever seen, now how does that happen? Are men pulled aside by the fat-finger Mafia and told they must don the ring - these are questions that I seriously have. On the other end of the man jewelry spectrum you'll find the sensitive male, complete with some sort of hemp-like necklace or funky ring, I understand what they're trying to go for here, self-expression, the onset of metrosexualness which has made every man more aware of fashion, etc., but the end result still comes off tacky and no matter what their age makes them seem instantly younger (and not in a good way).
Finally, there are the pro-sports stars with their gigantic bling, and I'll be honest I'm mainly jealous of them (have you seen the size of those diamond studs they wear!!!) but also, how practical is it to play football wearing three carat diamond earrings or throw a 100 mph fastball with a giant gold chain on. I am somewhat the girlie girl and I never wore a necklace while playing softball, fellas if I can it off you need to too. So men, if any of you are even reading this, or the women of men who wear jewelry, stop, put that bracelet and necklace down and leave the accessories to us, we look cuter in them anyways.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
I would have to argue this on a couple points. There is a growing market for high end man jewelry ... so the temptation is out there in full force. Every men's fashion mag has some David Yurman, Cartier, etc. advertisement in it that flashes something more exciting that a watch. I agree...watches are classic and can be a fun splurge...however, I also think a well placed ring can be very interesting when placed on the right individual. Nearly all of my male coworkers wear some type of ring (not of the wedding type). More often than not they appear to be homemade ... a bit of a relic or artifact. I would expect that the MidWestern man is still trying to figure this one out...the MW'ern pioneers are possibly the ones that you find yourself staring at in disgust. Four rings on one hand. Big ones. Sausage fingers and all. I assure you though, the west coast is figuring it out and maybe by 2009 Chicago reap the benefits as well.
Post a Comment